Why Jim Gaffigan Must Be a Health Food Nut

     Last night I was able to see Jim Gaffigan the comedian perform some of his new material for free at Ohio State.  If you're not familiar with that name, Jim Gaffigan is a stand-up comedian.  His famous bit is also my first point.  If you have heard anyone go on about Hot Pockets they are probably drawing from his bit about the microwavable "meals".  He starts off saying he just ate a Hot Pocket and proceeds and debunk them as food for awhile, calling them essentially diarrhea machines.  Why would someone do that if they liked eating Hot Pockets?  He emphasizes the guilt associated and the connotation of eating one but calling the last one in his freezer a "drunkenness measuring stick".  He does the same thing with Cinnabon cinnamon buns, the "beanbag chair" sized airport/ mall staple.  No one else focuses so much on food, except for of course, health food nuts.  

Someone this obsessed with weight
simply must be a health food advocate!

      He consistently refers to his "wife" the Catholic nutritionist baby creator.  Would someone who really has that poor of habits be married to a health food enthusiast?  I think not.  Last night he made everyone who didn't already feel guilty about eating at Subway and McDonald's feel guilty about not already feeling guilty.  Systematically he is combing the nation, using his mild overweight status as a mask to hide his true identity.  He mentioned being a member of a health club, doing a tour and thinking "Yeah, I'll never come back here again"  YEAH RIGHT!  The only people who take tours of rec centers are High School seniors on a college visit.  I don't buy it.  Fat people don't like to talk about being fat, unless they want everyone else to talk about being fat.  Who wants people to talk about being fat, that's right, the department of public health.  That place is full of health nuts!  

      He mentioned how eating lobster is pretty much eating butter, which is true, but that he doesn't like it!  Lobster, something that almost everyone enjoys!  His advocacy is so backwards that it may actually be working.  Somewhere, during every one of his shows someone from the Department of Health is cackling maniacally while Jim Gaffigan convinces young people to make healthier choices by making fun of unhealthy and creating a guilt for making them.  Making unhealthy food seem like an option only the proletariat would be forced to opt for, Jim Gaffigan is doing more for the health food movement than any hippie working at Whole Foods could ever hope to do, and the health food companies are behind it!

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